Drawing a Blank.

I deleted all the posts from before. They were boring. So much has changed for me...some good and some bad. I guess it depends on who is judging. I am confused about lots of things but I have to keep my focus on what I want. Coming back from Tsaile was hard for me. I miss being out there and I need to go back.  I made some goals and they may be selfish but it's what I want. I did come back with some self image problems. I think I have certain flaws but others don't see them. (rolls eyes). Right now I am working with my trainer, OGM. He is the greatest and we are a winning team. I'm not a slacker like the other people trying to get in shape. I do have a great life but it's not enough. Its not what I want. At this moment what I want doesn't seem possible. Staying here is the easiest choice. Only an idiot would give up what I have. Yes, I am an idiot.